normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
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Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
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Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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