Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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