After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
