i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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