So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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