Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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