Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
