that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize