just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
