Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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