Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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