Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
