I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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