Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
BRING THE BAGELS
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
