Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
