i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize