I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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