Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
