fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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