I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
