That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
