hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
