I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
