you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
