elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
