Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
