he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
