I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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