I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
