Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
