doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
