Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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