My liver just broke up with me...
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
