He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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