I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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