I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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