it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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