I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
