I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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