I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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