He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
