im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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