Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
