I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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