She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
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