i just wanna soil my oats bro
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
