D3 body, D1 cock
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
