I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
