So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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