ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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