I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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