drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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