: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
