If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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