Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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