guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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