i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
