Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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