yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
this hospital has no fireball
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
