Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
