It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Did I show you my penis last night?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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