I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
