; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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