i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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